Misunderstandings

Behind the song

Misunderstandings comes from a time when I felt completely alone. At school, I was bullied; at home, I was the “happy” one, but also the one who was always scolded. Nobody truly saw what I was going through. I didn’t feel understood by anyone. Neither my family nor those around me. What happened to me outside the house simply didn’t exist for anyone.

At some point, I shut myself off. I took refuge in music. I became almost apathetic, and angry at the world. Without really knowing what I was doing, I started writing and composing. It was the only way to make sense of what I had inside. The more I wrote, the more I isolated myself. But it was also the only place where I could feel “something”.

The song is a continuous dialogue between myself and myself. And between me and God. A dialogue with the awareness that maybe nobody is listening. Maybe not even Him. This song also contains the darkest parts: moments when I thought of ending it all. I didn’t, thanks in part to the faith I was taught. But the conflict remained. The line “I’ve been told to sacrifice what I’d have loved and wanted” is the core of everything. On one side, the voices of the world: telling me I was worth nothing, that I didn’t deserve to live, that music was useless. On the other side, the Gospel: sacrifice, losing to find, embracing the cross. A message meant to save you, but without faith or with an immature faith, it can’t be understood or accepted, and even feels like an imposition for the weak.

Misunderstandings is this: the feeling of having misunderstood everything, life, others, God, myself. Nobody can understand, and maybe nobody listens.