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Victim of My Fears

Nilk · 2025

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VERSE

Water's reflecting the moon

Lighting up your eyes

The craters in mine, too

Water's concealing our doom

Annotation

The moon represents the hidden side. Its light reflects on the water, symbolizing the element in which the author prepares to dive: true, eternal love, immense but dark as the ocean depths. Your eyes illuminate your beauty, but also question me: what do they see under this dark light? In my eyes, fear and past experiences are visible; scars left by life's 'asteroids' have shaped me. Love and destiny, immense as the ocean, are terrifying in their magnitude.

I'm willing to dive

But afraid to die, too

Guide me, I will follow you

Wherever you go

There I wanna go, too

Promise you'll never let go of my hand

I promise too

Annotation

I want to surrender to love, but I am afraid: fear of exposing my weakness, of being hurt or rejected, fear of not truly being able to love. But if you show me how to love without restraint, I will follow you anywhere. I ask for a promise: will you always be with me? There is still diffidence, but also mutual trust, an emotional anchor between fear and desire.

PRE-CHORUS

Promise you'll never let go of my hand

I'm afraid of falling into

This void alone

Tell me, are you too?

Annotation

The need for security intensifies: the fear of falling alone coexists with the desire for connection. Confirmation is sought that the other shares the same fears and wants to stay close.

CHORUS

I'm still a victim of my fears

I'm holding on and on

Am I alone?

Why's it so hard to say forever?

Love me, love me, never let me go

Love

I'm still prey, still prey to my pride

My pri- pri- prayers

That I hide

Say 'Lord please, help me love forever'

Love me, love me, never let me go

Annotation

Aware of his fears and sins, the author clings to someone who can love until death. Prayer becomes an act of courage, a way to seek help and receive sincere love. Vulnerability and fear permeate every word: faith is a brave choice necessary to love fully.

VERSE

Water is tracing your face

Can you feel my fear

You can see my tears, too

Hearts beat at a faster pace

It is hard to breathe

It's hard not to scream

Too, just promise you'll always stay by my side

Never, never give up on us

I'll never give up on us

Though I am afraid, oh

Annotation

The demons of the past resurface. Pride and fear stir shared pain; the labored breath almost becomes a scream. Despite everything, the desire for control and closeness remains: will you be with me forever? Mutual promises act again as an emotional anchor.

CHORUS

I'm still a victim of my fears

I'm holding on and on

Am I alone?

Why's it so hard to say forever?

Love me, love me, never let me go

Love

I'm still prey, still prey to my pride

My pri- pri- prayers

That I hide

Say 'Lord please, help me love forever'

Love me, love me, never let me go

BRIDGE

I'm so sorry for missing the overview

For so often misunderstanding you

When our thoughts get stuck inside a loop

And I'm afraid I will never break through

But your hugs give me the strength

And your eyes reinforce my courage

Every tear destroys my pride

I'll pray, pray, pray

For us forever

Annotation

After the storm, calm returns: the sea is clear, and finally the author shows their true self, weak but sincere. Entering a loop of negative thoughts no longer blocks growth, because the love received, coming from God, transforms. It is love that accepts a sinner and renews courage. The promise is now clear: I will pray for us forever.

CHORUS

Why's it so hard to say, oh

Love me, love me, never let me go

Love, I'm still prey, still prey to my pride

Pri- pri- pri- prayers

That I hide

Say 'Lord please, help me love forever'

I love you and I will never let you go

Annotation

A difficult moment, but the author is lucid and determined. No more hesitation: the will to love and receive love becomes a sincere promise, an act of courage and complete openness.

OUTRO

Still a victim (Still)

Still a victim

Still victim of my fears

Oh, love

Behind the song

Victim of My Fears is born in that fragile place where love and faith try to break through, but fear closes the door. It is the cry of those who have pushed love away, yet still long to be touched by it. Water is frightening. We fear the tears, the waves, the depth of the ocean, even a bathtub we know we would fill with dirt.

It is the fear that stops us from giving ourselves, from showing our vulnerability, from letting someone truly see us. This love can cross our fragility and love us where we ourselves stop. This is the love that God awakened in my wife and me, and convinced us to marry, leaning on faith.

The song is the voice of those who still tremble, of those who struggle with pride and fear. It is a silent prayer to be freed from the loop of this fear, to gain the courage to be guided, to trust, to love without reserve. To entrust ourselves to those who have given fully and to pray to learn to do the same. Every day is a journey, but this is the path to walk.